Posted in Grief

Grief Series: Joy in the mourning “My story of grief”

Joyinthemourning

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer at age 50. He was sick for over 2 years. My mother spent many nights with him during the several months he stayed in the hospital waiting for his miracle. While he was there, I was working full-time saving up for the birth of our firstborn because I knew I would be quitting my job to stay at home. My entire first year of marriage and first pregnancy was filled with the expectation that my dad could go at any moment. No one can really describe all the feelings a woman will have during her first year of marriage or her first pregnancy but I can say I never cried myself awake before and never have since, but I did then.

Daddy finally did go just two weeks after our son was born and three days before my birthday. Ironically, our son was born in the same hospital my daddy died in. The good part is that he was able to meet our son. He was barely lucid when we made that visit. The only thing he could say the moment I introduced him though was… “I see… I see…. I see…”, and with each “I see,” his voice grew louder and more passionate. After Daddy died I knew he held on as long as he could so he could meet our son. This was the first time I felt instead of mourning I could be grateful  my Dad had been given the opportunity to “see” my son.

Today if you are mourning a loved one try this:

See” life from your loved ones perspective. It was clear my Daddy saw my son and was delighted to meet him. I imagine he was happy for me too. Knowing this was the case I “see” other events in my life from my Dad’s perspective and imagine him smiling, making a joke or even bragging about me or one of my kids to a co-worker or really anyone that will listen. Somehow I find comfort knowing how he must “see” my life even though he isn’t here to witness it. What are some of the ways your loved ones would see your life now? 

4 thoughts on “Grief Series: Joy in the mourning “My story of grief”

  1. Reading you post I so see your dad again, he was the one who always had a twinkle in his eye, and as I look back as a little girl you didn’t know if it was a twinkle of mischief about happen or just pure love. Either way I couldn’t wait to find out which. He was not around for long periods of time during my childhood, but I treasure the memories of when he and Dwight, and Aunt Jean and Uncle Lundy came to visit!
    I truly believe that not only your dad is seeing, but my mom, our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and children are seeing us as we travel this journey here on Earth and are awaiting us all so that on that glorious day they can tell us just how much the have seen. Christmas is the greatest time of the year to remember all who are waiting for us to all be together some day, and thank God for his gift to us that night long ago in Bethlehem! Merry Christmas to you and your family Lori Anne, love and hugs, Gail LaChine Mullins

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