It’s been a long time but I’m posting this in memory of my Daddy and want to dedicate it to all the lovely people who shared in our Christmas Memorial Service this evening. Please enjoy and share this song, light a candle and remember all the ways you loved your person.
Dear Lori Anne:
After the Memorial Service, I received your wonderful story and was ever so touched by that beautiful song that you composed and sang. It never, never left my mind. However, when I tried at length to peck at a keyboard and correspond back to you and say in words, just how I felt and how I took a share in your sorrow – I just couldn’t. I could not find that something within me that would have the right meaning and feeling to share back with you.
I ran across this article in the BBC a while back: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33003764 I I thought of it again, and it inspired me to start thinking of the word ‘cope’ – which was used towards the end of the story. I began to think that there could only be one way for me to handle the remainder of my life and that was to cope-to live with the loss of my Sandy……but how?
A simple, lowly light switch -one of many found in our house- provided me with my own personal answer: There is a point that exists where the light switch- the electrical current- is neither ON nor OFF. It is an imaginary nether world – one that probably exists only in the realm of theoretical mathematics and such – and it is this point [of existing between sorrow and happiness] where I find my imagination being able to balance the state of my sorrow with the state of my being happy and alive –coping and going on.
To this end: besides making believe that Sandy is in the room with me talking with her from time to time, I have created many ways to fantasize that she is present -here with me. Some of them are: our dinner table has a place set up where she would always sit; her place on the bed features her favorite pillow, reading glasses and calculator; her shower cap is still hung where it always has been.
I will leave off here and stop, but I do want to again let you know how touching and moving your music and your story has been with me, Lori Anne. I wish you and your family all the best in 2016.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and also for sharing the http://www.bbc.com article. I read it and it was spot on. I like that both it and you mention the word, “cope”. Life is not the same after losing a beloved mother, spouse, father, daughter, son or in your case your beloved “Sandy” but accepting the loss and learning to cope is most likely the process we will spend the rest or our lives working on. One can only hope that over time the loss becomes part of us in a way that isn’t debilitating and that we are able to experience a little sweetness in our remaining days. All the best to you. Thanks again. Lori Anne