My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer at age 50. He was sick for over 2 years. My mother spent many nights with him during the several months he stayed in the hospital waiting for his miracle. While he was there, I was working full-time saving up for the birth of our firstborn because I knew I would be quitting my job to stay at home. My entire first year of marriage and first pregnancy was filled with the expectation that my dad could go at any moment. No one can really describe all the feelings a woman will have during her first year of marriage or her first pregnancy but I can say I never cried myself awake before and never have since, but I did then.

Daddy finally did go just two weeks after our son was born and three days before my birthday. Ironically, our son was born in the same hospital my daddy died in. The good part is that he was able to meet our son. He was barely lucid when we made that visit. The only thing he could say the moment I introduced him though was… “I see… I see…. I see…”, and with each “I see,” his voice grew louder and more passionate. After Daddy died I knew he held on as long as he could so he could meet our son. This was the first time I felt instead of mourning I could be grateful  my Dad had been given the opportunity to “see” my son.

Today if you are mourning a loved one try this:

“See” life from your loved ones perspective. It was clear my Daddy saw my son and was delighted to meet him. I imagine he was happy for me too. Knowing this was the case I “see” other events in my life from my Dad’s perspective and imagine him smiling, making a joke or even bragging about me or one of my kids to a co-worker or really anyone that will listen. Somehow I find comfort knowing how he must “see” my life even though he isn’t here to witness it. What are some of the ways your loved ones would see your life now?